...it was time to move slowly away from the “vanilla” relationship...

sunshine is the name, alias “…” I cannot say or have decided not to.

And to be very clear it is “sunshine” in small cap! The reason isn’t very hard to understand for those familiar. I was asked to start a blog and narrate on my recent awakenings as a submissive. I am still in the learning phase so please forgive any missteps I may make… I am a petite blonde over 40 and under 45, living somewhere in the Southern Hemisphere and recently awakened to the mysteries of submission. Writing has always been something I have enjoyed doing and actually have dreamt of doing, so this could very well be the beginning of something long suppressed and far overdue. It is strange to admit that I am adhering to the role of “submissive”, me having always been a strong, independent woman and mother, unshy to say what I feel and how I express myself. I realized that I was very far from it… I am quite surprised by this very journey. I cannot really say exactly when it all began. Probably fantasies, movies watched over the year, the acceleration of the internet and living in a society where everything is quite possible. If one thinks about one’s fantasies, I do not know many who would actually admit to never having had sexual fantasies of dominant – submissive relationships. I know I have had hundreds to say the least. Yet I was never in a dominant – submissive relationship, nor was I open about my fantasies to my partners. It's never too late to discover who we really are... So, once upon a time, in a very near past, my Captain, requested in an orderly manner, that I commence this blog to highlight my awakenings. I was reluctant and still am a little about having people know my secret or more so, someone I know finding out my little secret…. But here goes anyway… Being in a relationship for a number of years now, it was time to move slowly away from the “vanilla” relationship, known and experienced by many if not all. My partner is a dominant person by nature, and was already a Dom. It was not somethinghe aspired for necessarily in our relationship, reflecting more on the possibility of the occurrence than the certitude of it happening. Knowing this obviously intrigued me since early on. He always repeated that patience was essential, and that a strong and healthy relationship based mainly on TRUST was the key to any such relation. Honesty, respect are also key factors, with communication being a further factor to this. Once these foundations were solidly grounded it was time to give it a go. We didn’t really talk about it, or we did but more in a teasing manner, and once the teasing was over, it just happened… well not exactly, but… a few sex toys were bought here and there, a few more, a few bigger ones and then that minuscule step over the fine line seemed to have been crossed. A few months ago, I received an 11 page excel worksheet, via mail, with over 250 sexual topics I had to comment on. It went from anal plugs, to bondage and caning, to gangbanging and semen swapping. Many of which I had to look up and describe if I had done it and/or whether I was willing to do it on the orders of the Captain. This was the first invasion of profound intimacy. You have the physical invasion, then the mental. I took my time to seriously answer each and every topic with full transparency and after a good week I handed it in. Having passed the test I received my first “reward”.